Last days of August seem to be perfect for tackling the gold-worthy subject – infidelity. Yes, our dear friends, we are going down the rabbit hole today and God knows what we may find out. Ready to join us? We will start slowly, with exploration of the term itself. Then, we will take a quick look at what the numbers say – how many of you are cheaters. Lastly, we will explore the possible causes, variations and wrap up with shaking your roots to the ground. The brave ones among you, feel free to join us. Here we go.
What Infidelity Is
The short answer to this question is also the most frequent one you will hear – infidelity can be any action taken by one partner (outside of a relationship) that would hurt the other partner. Hm… now, this is a broad term. Naturally, everyone has her or his own standards and principles. What is acceptable to one person doesn’t have to be acceptable to the other. If we accept the fact that we are all individuals, it is difficult to determine the fine line between fidelity and infidelity.
Nevertheless, most people usually refer to physical adultery when talking about infidelity. But “adultery” can mean emotional, sexual, or full scale on – betrayal. Having in mind that there are individuals among you who see dirty thoughts, or texting as a betrayal as well, this may be a good moment to invite you to check out one of the previous texts on our sister casino’s blog – If You Are Sexting Do It Right for some surprising facts and tips.
So, can we agree that an act of infidelity starts with flirting with the same person over and over again without your partner knowing? Good. Now, let’s see how many of you cheat.
Infidelity in Numbers
According to Google, 25% of married American men and 15% of married American women commit adultery every year. In addition, 37% of unmarried men and 17% of unmarried women have sexual relationships with partners outside of their official relationships. Let’s take a moment to process this information and feel free to do the math.
Dear men, we would really like to hear from you on this subject. Do you think the numbers are real? What are the most common reasons for cheating? What makes it so alluring?
Why Do We Cheat?
Reasons are many, but we will try to sum them up to the most frequent ones. Psychologists have concluded that the reasons people cheat can be loosely divided into two groups:
- We cheat out of the physical need
- We cheat because we look for the confirmation of our self-esteem (and lack both emotional and physical intimacy in primary relationships)
Ok, I said these reasons are loosely divided. When we talk about the physical infidelity, we refer to purely physical drives that lead people to adultery. As we all know, in these cases there is usually no emotional attachment. Adultery is committed out of the primal physical need.
Now, the second reason is tricky. People also cheat because they feel neglected in their relationships and have a strong need to boost their self-esteem. Hence, an affair which is either a mixture of emotions and sex, or just emotionally fulfilling. Either way, it threatens to destroy the previously existing relationship or marriage.
Does Your Partner Cheat on You?
By now, you must be thinking: is my partner cheating on me? To this, we say: How about you? Where do you stand when infidelity is in question? What are your red lines?
Have you ever flirted with someone in the spur of the moment, or slept with someone just because you had too much to drink? How about sexting? Would you be ready to give full access to your phone to your partner to take a look?
Don’t do to others what you don’t want to be done to you. But if you are still wondering whether your partner cheats on you, let’s try and help. Here is a checklist of clues from the experts, to help you figure out whether there is any reason to worry:
- Changes in Communication: your partner avoids certain topics, ignores you, changes the subject of the conversation, etc.
- Hobbies: your partner expresses sudden interest in certain hobbies while not willing to share the details, etc.
- Attitude: your partner has a negative attitude, is ready to pick the fight, looks for more thrills in life…
- Lying: your partner makes up incredible excuses, avoids spending time together, you feel uncomfortable around your partner…
- Indifference: major alert here! Indifference is one of the key clues to spot the cheater; if your partner has become indifferent to you, your mutual daily life, your thoughts, feelings, and actions, it could be that he or she is unfaithful.
- Changes in Your Sex Life: again, one of the major clues; although changes in sex life could be normal and sometimes beneficial, it could easily happen that sudden changes in sex life are caused by your partner’s interest in someone else.
- Secretive attitude when it comes to talking on the phone, messaging, changing passwords across all devices, unusual working hours, etc.
Naturally, the list of clues can be much longer. The above is just the list depicting the most frequent scenarios. In every relationship, there are moments of doubts. The important thing to remember is that there is no definite clue apart from catching your partner with someone else. So, hang in there, peeps. We are all on this crazy rollercoaster called life. Sometimes we are way up high and seemingly nothing can touch us. The next moment, we are about to kiss the ground. Just remember, no one is immune to adultery, whatever we all may think.
So, where do you stand when infidelity is in question?