“The best thing a father can do for his child is to love a child’s mother immensely”, someone said. We could not agree more. In perfect reality, this is how things should unfold. However, it is often not the case, which does not mean that we should overlook the above mentioned saying.
Love is truly the tissue that keeps the things from falling apart. The challenges that modern families face have never been so big and serious. The dynamics we live with is often driving us away from the most important things and persons in our lives. How many times have you heard yourself saying that you promise to be there for your kid as soon as you finish work, or that you will spend some quality time with your family once you are on vacation? We are all chasing opportunities, better jobs, higher living standards, while life passes by.
Fathers bare this big responsibility to provide. By “providing” people usually refer to material things. Nevertheless, if you ask your child to describe the one thing that lacks in his or her relationship with you, as a father, the chances are the answer would be – playing. I remember one time my kid told her father that she was not interested in traveling to one of the most beautiful vacation spots but wanted to stay in our hometown and explore the museums together. Museums? Really? It made me rethink our lives and acknowledge the fact that although museums are obviously her thing, her genuine wish was to strengthen our bonds through doing things together. Fathers are the ones who lead the way in exploration, in getting dirty while pretending to be archaeologists, in painting together while exchanging words of every-day wisdom, in letting a child win a game, or teaching life lessons by not letting a child win a game. You get the picture.
Apart from providing the funds and time, fathers should bare one more huge responsibility – to provide protection. Again, this is the term that has different meanings depending on who you ask to describe it. If you ask a child, protection is usually perceived as an emotional one, even when related to situations when fathers display physical protection – protecting the kids from bullies from example. They do it, because in its essence, the drive they feel is the emotional bond with their children. The ultimate emotional protection comes from within the family.
Looking back at the beginning of this text, the relationship between a father and a mother in a child’s eyes is the sacred one. Once it is broken, the emotional consequences a child bares could be long-term ones. The grown-ups sometimes overlook the depth with which children absorb the surroundings, the behavioral patterns and impressions we show off. Many psychologists, philosophers and various experts have dealt with this subject in the past, and the aspects they explored are different, but there is one thing that all of them cannot deny: you cannot go wrong if you choose love.
Dear fathers, you bare a heavy load, we know. All that your child asks of you is to be kind to the woman in your life and to slow down from time to time, disconnect and spend some truly honest moments with your son or daughter in doing simple stuff like walking, talking, shooting some hoops, drawing…